Hey, did you read the front-page story in the Press Democrat about lobbyists? Man, they're so great, these lobbyists! All you have to do is give them money, and they make sure you get even more money back! Just like a casino, but with people and stuff, instead of slot machines!
Like the article says: "Talk about getting a bang for the buck!"
And the online headline! 'Sonoma County Says Money Spent on Lobbying Is a Good Investment'! Well! I, as a lifelong resident of Sonoma County, have struggled for years to put into words exactly how my community feels about lobbyists! The Press Democrat's on-point investigative reporting has really blown the lid off this one!
What's that, you say? The Press Democrat is owned by Darius Anderson, himself a high-powered Sacramento lobbyist? Who has said that lobbying is a "misunderstood" field, and has surely hoped to correct the misperception of lobbying as, oh, I don't know, maybe a microcosm of everything that's wrong with too much money in politics? Who is quoted in his own paper saying, about his own lobbying firm, "I think we're well-connected. . . . I think we give great advice"? Whose firm, Platinum Advisors, made $8.6 million last year? Who has eight full paragraphs in his paper about his own rising "star" and about Platinum Advisors' success in Orange County?
What a coincidence!
In short, we should all come together in these trying times and give our money to lobbyists, because they are great, says a newspaper owned by a lobbyist.